Okay,been really really long since i wrote something and as i type dis line,i can't help but think almost how all other posts start in a similar way or atleast have a mention in the course of the post.:P..Anyway,as i was editing yet another post in another blog(:D),i decided to expand my rant session and rant abt my internship full on..;)..
There's always a point of tyme in my lyfe where ,after having made a bad decision, or trying to find myself in the after-effects of a bad decision,I contemplate, try to be really optimistic and take it to be a learning experience of all sorts.And one thing which has come up more dan often is the lesson to take my decisions myself and not let my thoughts be influenced by anybody,and quite literally, as in not even allowing my dad to influence my decision.But then,again and again, i have never quite stuck to that realization bout that i keep getting and end up listening to my dad,his friends, or general public opinion before making a decision.I couldn't have been more wrong.Not saying it out of over-confidence but i have found that,invariably decisions which i take all on my own,listening to my heart,full Paulo Coelho style are the ones that have stuck the best and have been extremely fruitful.
Right from the tyme when ,being a typical arian, i discovered the thrill of being independent and making choices, i have always been advised oderwise by my dad.Not that he has taken wrong decisions for me, but somewhere down the line, in some issues, he has influenced my decisions from his point of view, not really trying to think about how it would affect me.I don blame him because ,u knw,it's everywhere.All parents see themselves in their kids, and expect them to be exceptionally gifted,achievers who will make it to the front page of The Hindu.And my dad thought and envisioned something similar for me.He thought i could stick it out and made big plans and in cases when dey din't work out,tweaked things to make sure things happened in the course of the decision.And this is where things went wrong.It just couldn't be accepted that i may not be able to be the zealous,over committed person he wanted me to be.
So,fast forwarding to the final year of engineering.We are supposed to do a project,as a part of the final semester curriculum.All was good until we were told that doing the project in a company,in an organization would luk good on the resume and, would, maybe get us a job with the same company.And my dad now decided that is what exactly i would do.But again things went haywire.I did not get placed in TCS and we had already applied for internship there.Having known somebody dere,my dad made sure i was given a chance again to write the project exam for me to get the internship.By now my instincts were giving me the sign again,warning me against entering the swamp.But it was decided by the person who had been deciding things for me throughout and ..i followed.I finally got the internship and things started going downhill from there.I could no longer attend college regularly, could no longer spend tyme with any of my friends or some classmates,whom i might not see again for a very long tyme; All this was fine,but there was a snag,something so disturbing,it made things worse.I did not get the Logic.
The technology being used, I wasn't aware.The method of functioning in the company, I wasn't aware.The logic to be used, I was ignorant.Coupled with a little laziness and a strong dislike to the place and the work i was doing,things turned from bad to worse and I no longer had any interest to continue the internship.It took every ounce of my willpower to keep going and trying to finish it.But that is anoder story.This made the entire fiasco another indication of how,i really really must listen to my gut and stick to my decisions when my instinct told me to.
They say everything that happens, happens for a reason.They couldn't be more right.They say listen to your heart,it mighty helps most of the tyme.They couldn't be more right again.I will be in Bengaluru for the next two years, after a month.After spending nearly 20 years at home,under the cocoon amma and nanna wrapped me in,I will be given the freedom to take my decisions without being influenced.So how things go then will be left for tyme to see.But you see,I wanted to go.I made it even though the chances were skim.I decided.
